Friday, July 31, 2009

The Princess and the Peas

Yesterday I took my dog back to the vet for the fourth time for a bladder infection. We have her confined to the tiled guest bathroom, which is making both her and us miserable, and we are having a hard time clearing up the problem. Luckily, we have a great discount vet clinic in our area that I have always been quite pleased with, but these recent visits have made me wonder if there is possibly something more to comprehensive veterinary care. Like when they escorted me to a small, grassy, side yard, handed me a kitchen ladle, and asked me to follow my dog around to "catch a sample". It kind of made me wonder what real pet owners at real vet offices do to fight bladder infections. Well, I could go on and on, but I figure you would rather read about the Princess and the Pea as opposed to the Princess and the Pee.

It's a judgement call, really.

The bottom (no pun intended) line is that I checked the dog in for an overnight stay at the clinic last night so they could catch their own samples and finally get a handle on why my spaniel leaks. I felt a little sad about leaving her there because I know she was terrified, so the girls and I picked up my Mom and headed to the big mall in town to put our minds in a happier place. Like Pottery Barn.

About a week ago, I fell madly in love with a quilt in the Pottery Barn window. I scraped together all my spare nickels (probably the ones I'm saving on vet care) and bought a single sham. I just had to know if it would match the tapestry hanging above my bed, which it did. Perfectly. Since that time I've had a moment or two of clarity and realized that this isn't the lifestyles of the rich and famous here, and when I actually added up what it would cost me to acquire all the necessary pieces and accessories in the king sized ensemble, it became painfully clear that my luscious sham, in all of its quilted splendor, was only on borrowed time here.

So, we headed to the mall, where the unsuspecting sales woman credited my debit card, then climbed over the counter to forcibly pry the sham from my clutches as I wailed and shed tears on their gorgeous sisal rug.

From there we headed to Coldwater Creek, where Hannah spied a very fancy party dress dangling from a hanger. Buzzard and I have been invited to a black tie fundraiser for Make A Wish. Neither Buzz nor I have any black ties hanging in our closet, so I've been feeling very unsure about attending the event. After all, I'm pretty sure the idea is to donate your funds to Make A Wish, not spend them all on attire for the evening. Not that I wouldn't really love to give that Buzzard a spit shine and wrap a bow tie around his neck. Anyway, the party dress was dangling away and Hannah talked me in to trying it on. It was very swirly. Like a princess dress. And it was on clearance for a ridiculous price. And the sales lady pulled a coupon out of her pocket and gave it to me. And after the recent and painful break up with the pillow sham I was looking for a transitional purchase. And so it was that I came to own this dress.....

I'm not entirely sure if this dress is fancy enough to qualify as "black tie", but I'm far too practical to buy a dress that I will only wear once. So, I'm hoping to jazz it up a bit with some sparkle jewelry. Or maybe an up-do? I have not given such serious deliberation to cumber buns or rhinestone strappy sandals since prom night, circa 1986. Back when I wore a hoop skirt under my dress instead of spanx.

After Coldwater Creek we browsed through Harry and David. I'm not sure what led us to actually try the free sample of fried green peas that the sales lady offered us, but it was love at first crunch. Whoever thought to take a sub-par vegetable, deep fry it, then roll it in salt?? They tasted really crunchy, like a corn nut, and kind of starchy, like a pretzel. You'd never in a million years guess they were peas. They were scrumptious! Emma loved them too.

Buzzard will arrive home this weekend to the news that he is under the gun to find a tux, and that his Pringles have been replaced.

So, it's Friday and I'm headed into the weekend with a princess dress and a bag of fried green peas. Honestly, the possibilities are endless.

Actually, that's one princess dress, one bag of fried green peas, six cans of prescription wet dog food, yet another seven day antibiotic, two bladder x-ray films, and the same old, same old pillow shams. Just in case you're keeping track. Happy weekend, y'all.

1 comment:

Erin said...

Oh my goodness! What a gorgeous dress!!! You will look FAUBLOUS!