A Trunk A Junk

The time has come. Temperatures are soaring. Vacation time is approaching, which means a little extra spending money would be nice. And there are several trash bags bursting with unwanted treasures gathered during various waves of spring cleaning. Yes, it's that time. It's garage sale season!

Garage sales. They are the best of times. They are the worst of times. My husband shudders every time I gear up for one. He hates them. He's always game for driving to our local shelter and dropping off donation bags. Me? There's something strangely satisfying about strapping on a fanny pack and peddling my wares. Getting a quarter for things I know down deep in my heart are worth a good solid fifty cents. I didn't have the stamina for a full fledged sale this year, but one of my best girlfriends convinced her husband to do one, and she kindly agreed to let me haul over a trunk-load of, uh, junk.

Here's the progression of garages sales...

First, I tear through the house like a madwoman hunting and gathering for things that are too big, too small, too worn, or too old. This is when my kids start hiding things from me. I hate clutter and am always desperate to clean out, just sure I can live without everything in sight.

Next, I sit down to price, which means deliberating about every item and changing stickers two or three times on some things. The funny thing about garage sale price tags is that they are completely unnecessary. First, despite the glow-orange dot, most shoppers will hold up whatever item they are interested in and ask how much it is. Then, they will offer to pay half of whatever you say. But, the glow-orange stickers are part of the experience, so I use them.

The morning of the sale, which starts at 8:00, I hurriedly try to spread my offerings down the driveway while fending off early birds, who have been there since 7:00, and who are digging through boxes faster than I can unpack them.

Then, for every piece of clutter that I watch travel down the road in the hands of a new owner, I sit and second guess. Should I have gotten rid of that? Will I regret it? Did I ask enough for it? This is why it is important to do a garage sale with a best girlfriend. Because these are the kind of matters you deliberate back and forth while you sit at the card table in the beating sun wearing flip flops and feeling sweat beads roll down your backs. Oh, and another reason is because you trade junk. I decluttered my house, but found a few of her discarded treasures that had to come home with me. That's just how it works.

My Mom and I have a fun tradition. We always pick the most outrageous item and put some outlandish pricetag on it to see if it will sell. Like the year I sold a decorative fan that was made from a paper plate, some plastic forks, and about 18 feet of lavender lace. Best $5 I ever made. Today's item of choice was an NFL tee-shirt that my girlfriend's husband contributed to the sale. He came out of the house clutching it like a prized possession and affixed a masking tape asking price that showed just how darned proud he was of his licenced athletic apparel. Men are funny about their ratty shirts.

Yep, garage sales are an irresistible part of American culture. And at the end of the day, you count up your hard earned $117.50 and wonder how much more you'll earn tomorrow. :)