...hope...

Hope is such an emotional gift. In the best of times, we hope for even better things to come. In the hard times, it is what fills our heart with the desire to see the next minute. Hope for a positive outcome; to see the desires of our hearts fulfilled. Faith assures us that God is sovereign. That He is in control, no matter what. That He is good, all of the time. Faith is what helps us understand that life is frail, that change charges in like a lion, but that we are not alone. Faith is an assurance that God's will be done.

But hope is what my human nature clings to. Hope is what begs for my will to be done. Hope is praying to God that things will work out exactly the way I want them to. Is it fine for a woman of faith to be a woman of hope? Sometimes hope feels like the raft that keeps us afloat. We hope for the best, for the happily ever after.

I'm in an ICU waiting room in Hot Springs, Arkansas with my Dad and his wife, who is on the critical care list with bacterial pneumonia. She is on a ventilator, but her vitals are holding strong. I'm here, fully aware that God holds Suzanne in the palm of His hand, that He loves her more than all the rest of us put together; but hoping like crazy that she will open her eyes, that she can hear our voices, and that she can feel our presence.

I have faith that God is right here, and that He has a plan. But to be honest, it is hope that keeps me going. I have a hope that His plan matches mine, and it feels good to invest everything I have - one moment after another - fully infused with hope.

If you are reading here today, I thank you for remembering Miss Suzanne in your prayers. I have faith that He hears them, and faith that He answers. And an infinite amount of hope that she gets better very soon.