Night Noises

Emma is eight months old now and still isn't sleeping through the night. I've never had a non-sleeper before. My other kids were snoozing soundly for a solid ten hours by ten weeks of age. It's a strange dilemma, really, because as much as I know we both need the sleep, I'm not fully motivated to address this issue. Her rather well established routine, until just lately, was to wake up at 1:00 and again at 4:00. Nutritionally, she does not need to eat at night. So, we decided to edge out the 1:00 feeding.

Oh, the tears.

Mine, I mean. It is so hard to lay in bed and listen to her cry. It is the most pathetic, sad little sound you can imagine. It makes me want to cry. Bawl, even. Those first few nights were really tough. Then we discovered that giving her a pacifier helped her to go back to sleep faster. Buzzard would go to her, give her a paci, rub her back, then walk away. She would cry hard, spit out the paci, and cry harder. Buzzard would go to her again, search diligently and unsuccessfully for the lost paci, try rubbing her back, crawl under the bed and feel around in the dark for the lost paci, then start to cry himself. Not really. But almost. More crying. More frantic searching.

Then we got smart. Before going to bed at night, we stocked the corner of our dresser. A bountiful supply, indeed, because we dearly love our sleep......er, I mean, our baby.

As the nights wore on, she needed fewer and fewer pacis, and before long she was sleeping right through that 1:00 feeding altogether. For the most part, our luck has held, and although she occasionally still stirs at 1:00, we typically can count on her to sleep until about 4:00.

The logical next step is to begin weeding out that 4:00 feeding.

Right? Right? Isn't that what you're thinking? It's what I should be thinking too.

The thing is, those quiet moments we share together at the disrespectful hour of 4am are sweet and irresistible. In the stillness of the night, I bring her into my bed and we snuggle under the covers while she nurses. Her head smells like lavender baby bath. Her little fingers wrap around my thumb, and her soft little feet rest against my legs. She slurps and coos contentedly, and I try to drink in every single second and be grateful. I know these moments will quickly pass, and even though I don't want to create a toddler with sleep issues, I actually find myself looking forward to that 4am snuggle session. It is peaceful and loving and dear to me.

So, the question is clear. How is Emma ever going to train me to sleep through the night???